


Kiss Me Hard Before You Go

by brandnewfashion, Valmasy



Series: Summertime Sadness [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Spoilers, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, and sex in the rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 02:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2530619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandnewfashion/pseuds/brandnewfashion, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valmasy/pseuds/Valmasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Look, Tony. I don’t… I’m not mad at you,” Steve said, suddenly sounding exhausted.  He dragged a hand through his hair, shoulders tense. “I was, but I understand where you were coming from. I do.  I don’t blame you for this mess.  You just... overreached.”</p><p>“Is that why you left?” Tony found himself asking. “Because I overestimated my abilities?” He tried to laugh, but the sound was shaky to his own ears. “I mean, we both know you’re way out of my league after all.  It’s a wonder we stayed together for as long as we did, really.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Me Hard Before You Go

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this scene](http://brandnewfashion.tumblr.com/post/101201828723/wow-u-gonna-show-him-that-dark-side-in-tbe).

_I don’t know what she showed_ you _. It’s enough to make you do something stupid._

Tony’s jaw clenched, Steve’s words echoing in his mind as he watched as the blonde tossed the torn log onto the growing pile.

“‘Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.’” Steve laughed bitterly, “Pulled us apart like cotton candy.”

“Well, it seems that you walked away all right.”  The words left his mouth before he could even register them.

Steve looked at him over his shoulder.  “Is that a problem?”

“I don’t trust a guy without a dark side,” Tony coolly replied as picked up an ax.  Steve looked thoroughly unimpressed—they both knew what Tony really meant. “Call me old-fashioned, I guess.”  He brought his tool down onto the closest slab of wood, and resisted the urge to whine when he barely made a dent in it.

“Well, let’s just say you haven’t seen it yet.” Steve said before swinging his ax and effectively splitting the same log in two.  He relished in the annoyed look on Tony’s face.

Tony bit down another backhanded comment.  “Banner and I have been doing this research—”

“That would affect the team—”

“That would _end_ the team!” Tony snapped. “Isn’t that the issue? Isn’t that why we fight; so we can end the fight?” he added, his voice rising.  “So we get to go _home_?!”  

He startled when Steve picked up another log and tore it in half with his bare hands.  

Steve’s breathing was labored now.  “Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people die. Every time.”  With a grunt, he picked up his axe and brought it down on another log with much more force than necessary.

Tony looked down at the pile of splintered wood in disbelief.  Admittedly, the conversation wasn’t going where he wanted it to go—where he _needed_ it to go.

All he could think about were the images that Wanda Maximoff had shown him.

Destruction.

His fallen friends.

The broken shield.

Steve’s unmoving body in his arms, and Tony screaming in agony.

“Steve,” Tony said quietly. He closed his mouth, thoughts piling up behind a tight lump in his throat, and all he could do was call Steve’s name again in the hopes that its cadence held the words he couldn’t voice.  

“Look, Tony. I don’t… I’m not mad at you,” Steve said, suddenly sounding exhausted.  He dragged a hand through his hair, shoulders tense. “I was, but I understand where you were coming from. I do.  I don’t blame you for this mess.  You just... overreached.”

“Is that why you left?” Tony found himself asking, staring hard at the curve of Steve’s bicep and unable to look up further. “Because I overestimated my abilities?” He tried to laugh, the sound shaky to his own ears. “I mean, we both know you’re way out of my league after all.  It’s a wonder we stayed together for as long as we did, really.”

“What? Tony, no!” Steve embedded the ax he’d picked back up into the base log and took the one long stride to stand in front of Tony again.  He grabbed the engineer’s forearm to keep him from leaving. “I tried to tell you after… After I got back to the to—”

“After you vanished for three months?” Tony scoffed and pulled away from Steve’s grip, even though all he wanted to do was move further into the blond’s space. “What?  After spending the past six months together, you didn’t think I’d notice that you were gone?  Of course I noticed!  Right about the time you missed your self-proclaimed ‘anniversary’ that night, and the dozens of unanswered texts.”

“You know how I feel about texting,” Steve muttered, mostly to himself.  He wiped a hand down his face like he always did when he didn’t know how to handle Tony and his moods.

“Well, excuse me,” Tony snapped. “It’s not like you answered your phone when I tried calling either.”

God, he hated this. He absolutely hated feeling like he was some pathetic, lovesick teenager begging his boyfriend to pay attention to him. But he kept seeing the jagged edges of the broken shield and he had to--he just had to try to get through to Steve how much he meant to Tony, how far Tony would go to make sure that what Wanda showed him would never come to light.

Steve stood there silently for a few moments, appearing to mull over an appropriate response.  Instead, he sighed dejectedly and mumbled a pathetic “you didn’t leave a message” as an excuse.  He shrugged and stooped down to gather some of the logs off the pile.  “I figured it wasn’t important.”

Tony blinked, caught off guard by Steve’s flippant response as he walked away. The sky darkened almost immediately, as if Steve was taking all of the light with him.

Tony’s brain kicked in a few seconds later, anger spiking hotly down his spine. He took off after Steve’s longer stride, not stomping like a child, thank you very much, as they rounded the side of the house to the small wooden shed out of sight from the porch.

“Or you just figured I wasn’t important?” Tony called after Steve, unable to keep the full scope of the rejection out of his voice.  Steve stopped in front of the door of the shed.

There was a clap of thunder in the distance.

“If I was, you would have at least told me to my face that you didn’t want to do this anymore,” Tony spat. “That you… That you’d had enough of this... of _me_. For fuck’s sake, do you know what that felt like? Especially with fucking _Natasha_ trying to get me to help her set you up on dates with Sharon and Lillian and God knows who else.  All that time, not one fucking word from you.”

Steve didn’t move, even as the first droplets of rain water began to fall onto his head. Tony grudgingly sidestepped him to open the door, but Steve continued to stand there, arms full of the chopped wood.

“Is that what you thought?” Steve asked faintly, brow furrowed and confused. His fingers spread over the dry bark and absently picked at the chipped edges.  He spun around to try to meet Tony’s gaze, but Tony’s eyes were fixated on the dampening ground.  “Tony, is that what you really think of me?”  I wouldn’t break up with anyone like that, especially you! I _never_ wanted to break up with you _at all_.”

“Then why?” Tony asked, the question catching on a tremor in his voice. His hand dug into the shed door and he finally met Steve’s eyes with his own frustratingly-damp gaze. “Why couldn’t you let me know what was wrong? Why did you leave me?”

“Do you really want to do this now?” Steve asked tiredly, stepping around Tony to dump the logs inside the shed. Thunder cracked, and Tony watched Steve’s profile as the blonde tipped his face up towards the sky. They were both silent for a moment before Steve’s voice cut through the air again. “It was because of Bucky.”

Tony felt his heart clench, phantom pain from the removed reactor spiderwebbing from the center of his chest. Of course. Bucky. He should have known. The only thing more important to Steve than saving the world.  Saving Bucky Barnes—there was no way Tony could ever be part of that.

His fingers slipped from the door and he got about three feet from the shed in the now-pouring rain before Steve caught his arm again and pulled him back.

“Tony, wait!  I wanted to tell you, I really did. You were in a board meeting when I got the tip-off from Sam, and I couldn’t wait, so I never got the chance to—” Steve’s grip on Tony’s arm slackened, but he didn’t let go. “Bucky ran me into the ground for three months and when I got back, I couldn’t get to you,” Steve explained, hand sliding down Tony’s arm so he could lace their fingers together. “When I got to the Tower, you wouldn’t let me into the lab. After three months, I felt so defeated.  I thought…”

He let go of Tony’s hand and Tony flexed his fingers.

“You thought what?” Tony asked quietly, heartbeat a hammering staccato. He searched Steve’s gaze and then smiled a bit sadly. “You thought I’d changed my mind,” he supplied.

Steve nodded, rolling his shoulders and looking anywhere that wasn’t Tony. “You weren’t exactly welcoming when I got back,” he admitted, a bit spitefully.

“I was there!” Tony’s sad smile faded from another burst of anger. “I was there the whole time, Steve! Where were you? Gone! Every time I came out of that lab since you first left, you weren’t around. You were like a fucking ghost and it wasn’t like I could interrogate everyone without giving away your dirty little secret!”

“I already apologized,” Steve growled, hackles rising as Tony started shouting again. It was like the engineer couldn’t have a rational discussion. At least the rain was cutting through all of the tension in the air. “I didn’t realize I needed to ask permission to look for my friend. Or do you want to collar and track me like SHIELD did?”

Tony flinched, eyes widening a fraction before they narrowed. “Fuck you, Rogers,” and he pushed past Steve and made his way back out into the downpour, his shirt sticking to him like a second skin within seconds. Steve went right after him with a low curse, grabbing Tony’s arm and trying to pull him back around by the side of the shed.  Why did it always feel like they were always moving backwards? It was like they were magnets constantly pushing against each other.

“I didn’t mean—Tony, calm down. Jesus,” Steve hissed when Tony tried fighting him off.  He cast a wary glance towards the direction of the house. Tony yanked his arm away with a snarl that was lost to the rain, but he overcompensated, feet sliding in the wet grass. He flailed and landed on one knee, nearly clocking his head on the side of the shed. He batted Steve’s hand away when he tried to help.

“I’m fine!” he shouted, feeling a twist in his side and an ache in his gut. He was fine. He was! So what if he wanted to cry? It wasn’t like he wasn’t allowed to, but he just didn’t want to do it in front of Steve.

“You’re not fine,” Steve said lowly, but loud enough for Tony to hear. He braced a hand on the side of the shed, bending over slightly to block some of the rain. “We’re both tired and hurt and not thinking clearly, and we probably shouldn’t be having this conversation now, but I know that I shouldn’t have said that.  I know you’re not like them, Tony.”  He used his other hand to tip Tony’s chin up, and Tony just glared balefully at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t think to stay in touch with you. I should have,” Steve said regretfully. “I’m not going to make any more excuses for myself, because I know there are a lot of things I have to work on.  But I need to know that we’re both on the same page.”

Tony took a few shuddering breaths, one hand clenched in the mud at his feet and the other settling on Steve’s thigh to steady himself, fingers spasming. He didn’t think they’d ever get the chance to fix whatever it was they had between them.

He swallowed and watched the way Steve’s eyes tracked the movement of his throat. He was suddenly very aware of their proximity. His fingers stilled and then clenched into the muscle of Steve’s thigh. He licked his lips and his gaze went half-lidded.

“Tony,” Steve said lowly, almost a warning. He felt a shiver run down his spine from the expression on his lover’s face—if they could still be called that.  He brushed his thumb over Tony’s bottom lip to wipe away the drops of water. “Come on. Get up. You’re getting dirty.”

“Oh, I haven’t yet,” Tony replied, voice thick with want. He could do this: push the hurt and fear aside and just remember what it was like to feel Steve.

He spread his hands out over Steve’s legs, pushing them up towards the ‘v’ of his pelvis and curling his fingers into Steve’s pockets.  It had been so long since he’d been able to really touch Steve and now that he was finally in reach after such a long separation, it was all he wanted to do. Steve’s pupils dilated when Tony’s fingers moved to his fly, but he roughly pulled Tony up instead, pressing him back against the side of the shed with enough force to cause the building to creak slightly.

Tony grunted, the sound swallowed by Steve’s mouth crashing down onto his own. He scrambled for more contact, arms slinging around Steve’s neck and shoulders. He parted his lips and swept his tongue out against Steve’s in an invitation Steve took no time at all to answer. But it ended as quickly as it started, and Tony absolutely did not whine when Steve abruptly broke the kiss, pressing their foreheads together as he panted against the engineer’s mouth.

“Let me,” Steve said, breath hitching and hands traveling down to Tony’s sides and settling on his hips. “Let me do this for you. Please.”

Tony’s head thunked back against the wall as Steve slowly sunk to his knees, heedless of the rain and mud now drenching them both. He felt Steve’s remarkably steady hands untie the shirt around his waist. It hit the ground with little fanfare before the impossible heat of Steve’s fingers were suddenly curling around his cock. His hips jerked and he shuddered out a breath, looking down at Steve.

Steve peeled Tony’s jeans open, drawing Tony out from beneath his boxers. He glanced up and caught Tony’s gaze as he dragged his thumb around the tip of his cock to the base, rubbing in the rain that made Tony shiver as it hit his rapidly heating skin.

“Fuck,” Tony breathed.  It had been three months, but Steve’s touch was still achingly familiar.  Steve leaned forward with a smirk, pressing a kiss to the damp skin of Tony’s hip. 

“Not quite,” the blond replied, words rumbling teasingly against Tony’s body. Steve started stroking him, firm and steady pulls of his hand that had Tony arching to follow the thrust of his fist. Steve’s mouth left a trail of open-mouthed kisses along Tony’s hip bone, before sweeping his tongue along the shaft.

Tony groaned and shoved his fingers into Steve’s hair, messing up the sodden blond locks with clumps of mud that went unnoticed. “Steve,” he whined, keening as his fingers tugged at Steve’s head. “Steve, baby, please.”

Steve braced an arm against the shed beside Tony’s hip and bobbed his head down, swallowing Tony’s cock with a low hum. Tony bit down on his lower lip, stifling the urge to cry out in relief. He instinctively pushed into the warmth of Steve’s mouth, knowing first-hand that the super soldier could take a little force, welcomed it even. In fact, it earned Tony another low hum and when Tony looked back down, Steve’s blue eyes seemed to darken even further with arousal.

He loosened his grip in Steve’s hair gently pushed his fingers through it instead, silently asking for permission.  Steve made another low, guttural sound, and Tony firmly thrust into Steve’s mouth again. Steve moved his hand away from the base of Tony’s cock and curved it around the swell of his ass, encouraging his movements.

Steve sucked down when he moved away, and Tony reveled in the feeling and pushed back into the heat of Steve’s mouth. Steve watched him, paying no mind to his own arousal which looked thick and aching where it was trapped behind his zipper.  

“N-no,” Tony gasped out when Steve sucked on the head again.  Tony stilled, thumbs shifting down to press against Steve’s cheeks, seeking the shape of his own cock in the other’s mouth. He licked his lips. “No, I wanna… I wanna do this together.”

Steve blinked, slow and languid, and pulled off Tony’s cock with a slightly-obscene pop. He ran his thumb below his own lower lip and smirked up at Tony. “I thought you were doing just fine on your own,” he replied, voice promising pleasure with every curl of his tongue. Tony stared at him for a moment, dazed at the sound of it, before he dropped onto Steve’s lap and pushed him onto the muddy grass.

Steve went easily, chuckling as he did so. His arms looped around Tony’s waist as Tony slanted their mouths together. Steve grunted when Tony’s hand brushed against his throbbing erection, and his hands still on the curve of Tony’s ass.  Tony couldn’t help but rock back into their steady strength.

He broke the kiss and peered down at Steve, eyes wild with arousal as he unzipped the fly of Steve’s jeans and teased the his cock out with a couple of lazy strokes strokes. He smirked when Steve threw his head back in relief.

“Tony, we don’t have anything.  I don’t want to h—”

“I know. It’s okay, baby,” Tony promised, rocking back once more before leaning forward, bracing one arm on the ground to steady his weight. He licked his lips again and shifted until he could get his hand around both of their cocks. He tightened his hold, feeling barely noticeable tremors in Steve’s body as started stroking a steady rhythm.

It wasn’t slow. It wasn’t romantic. Not this time. It couldn’t be. Steve’s hands dug into Tony’s thigh and hip, grounding Tony like an anchor as they began to rock together into Tony’s fist. The rain made their movements slicker, easier.

Tony kept his eyes on Steve’s face, anxiously watching each shift in expression and burning the images into his mind, as if he’d never get to see it again. Steve managed to haul a hand up to Tony’s shirt. He twisted his fingers in the fabric and pulled Tony back into something that wasn’t quite a kiss, but more a co-mingling of their breaths.

“Tony,” Steve’s tremulous voice warned against his mouth, hips pushing steadily up against his lover. “Tony, I can’t—”

Tony continued his ministrations, not easing up even as Steve’s body tensed upon orgasm.  Steve growled Tony’s name in the aftershocks, broken and needy.  

“ _Steve_.” Tony tensed when Steve’s hand enveloped his own, and he came with a shout.

It took a couple minutes for Tony to come to, relishing in the feeling of Steve’s fingers gently stroking his spine. The blonde shifted under him, sensing the change in Tony’s breathing.

“Back with me, baby?” Steve asked quietly, a teasing tilt to his mouth.

Tony made a noise of affirmation, propping his chin on his on Steve’s chest. “Steve, I—”

Steve cut his words off with a slow and tender kiss, sitting them both up until Tony was sprawled across his lap and he could cup the other man’s face with both hands.

“Later,” Steve murmured after pulling apart. He pressed another chaste kiss to the corner of Tony’s mouth. “Promise me, Tony, that when this is over, we’ll sit down and work this out. You can tell me then.”

“Steve,” Tony tried again, “Steve, you have to know.”

“I do know,” Steve said, with a small, but fond smile. “Believe me, I do. But I want one good thing to look forward to at the end of this mess.”

And the truth was that Tony did believe Steve, saw the reciprocation of it in the look of pure adoration on Steve’s face, and felt it in the gently caress of Steve’s fingers over his cheeks. Tony leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together.

“Yeah, okay,” Tony agreed. “When this is over.”

 


End file.
